Have you ever heard the Promises of AA? They are one of many sets of lies available to every disciple.
Below, you will find these Promises the cult religion of AA makes to each and every member. There are thirteen which is highly humorous because although AA claims to have 12 steps, everyone who has been anywhere near this cult knows better. There are 13 steps. What is the 13th step you ask? Sexual harassment and rape. I wish I were exaggerating. What do members do about it? They justify and diminish and mock it and cover up for the criminal predator scumbag. Even worse, they tell the victim to ‘find your part‘ in the rape and to forgive their rapist.
Yep. So here you have the so-called Promises. The promises are numbered. The truth is below each one. In bold. That the majority of them claim a ‘we‘ and an ‘us‘ is a hallmark of a cult. Enjoy and please share.
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through . . .
If you follow this dangerous cult religion and do not rock the boat or question any of the disempowering dogma, you will be required to stuff your instincts away and fake ‘amazement.’ And like it!
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
You will be sentenced to a cult religion for the rest of your life and as long as you believe the horrible tenets of this cult, you will never be free. Forget about happy. You’re a fucking alcoholic!
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
Your past was nothing but you being a selfish asshole and as long as you stay in this cult, you will never be able to let go of any regrets you may have. Never. Suck it up Sunshine.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity.
You will chant Serenity!! like George Constanza’s dad in Seinfeld but chanting a word only makes one mentally disturbed in this cult of psychological violence.
5. We will know peace.
You will never have another peaceful moment in your life but you will be able to claim and fake having peace only in meetings drinking horrible coffee, eating stale cookies and bobbing your head in agreement with seriously fucked up claims like “I am a grateful alcoholic.”
6. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
Even though you are the scum of the earth, you will find salvation ‘in the roomz‘ and ONLY in the rooms if you embellish your ‘share‘ to force yourself to become ‘one of us‘ … and bring in fresh blood to the cult. Of course.
7. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
With or without our cult you are useless and full of nothing but self-pity. Now your self-esteem will disappear as well. Boo Hoo For You.
8. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
You will be a slave to AA commitments and will spread the cult dogma wherever you go. In fact, you will be the most annoying, preachy son of a bitch at every party you attend. Forever. Amen.
9. Self-seeking will slip away.
Your selfish ass will never again be able to say no to an AA commitment and even your family will take a backseat to your AA life. Otherwise, you die. Sucker.
10. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
You will be a walking, talking zombie for the 12 step cult. Your brain will be useless, dead to you without the cult. The fucking end.
11. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
You will fear and pity ‘normies‘ (i.e.. anyone who has not had your fake spiritual awakening), and you will seriously consider leaving AA a large sum of money in your will. Your family will just have to go fuck themselves. That is, if you ever make it out of abject poverty while you are putting money ‘in the basket’ and you can NEVER leave us. Bitch.
12. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
You used to be a baffled, idiot and now you will forever be a baffled idiot … but with a head full of lies and hate for yourself and everyone else — without the right to feel the dreaded ‘resentment’ or any other normal, healthy feeling. Too bad, how sad, you’re bad.
13. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
You will turn your life over to the AA god (i.e.. Bill Wilson and all the old-timer gurus), and will completely give up on a satisfying life for yourself.
So, there you have it. There they are along with the truth beneath the lies labelled promises. The subterfuge is truly brilliant and terrifying. These promises are the opposite of help. They are abuse, as is every single aspect of AA and the 12 steps.
Happy New Year one and all. My hope for you and those you love is a life truly free from this dangerous and horrible cult religion commonly known as AA.
— Laura Tompkins