7 Comments

The Truth About Al-Anon

Stepper: “Well AA might be bad, but Al Anon is not AA.”
Enlightened One: “No, you’re right, Al Anon is even worse.”

Al Anon is a place for the family member (or anyone who ‘qualifies’) to go and find their ‘part’ in the other persons behavior. Excuse the fuck out of me? He was an asshole drunk and now somehow I bear responsibility for this!? My life is unmanageable because of his behavior and I must pray for knowledge of gods will for me?

Al Anon is a place to go to find bogus reasons to stay with an abusive shit head who is feigning powerlessness and claiming to have a disease.

Al Anon is a place to go to turn your will over to god, rather than tell the abusive shithead in your life to pack his shit.

Al Anon is a place to go to help yourself understand why this shithead did all the things he did, so that you can have peace and quiet as he trots off to 3 skull-fuck meetings a day, while you do all the work to support him…as he 13steps all the women in his ‘home group.’

Al Anon is a place to go to help you have peace of mind while he is throwing shit all over the house in a drunken rage because he can’t find his keys…which are in his hand. Oh, and his DUI is somehow something you could have prevented. Shut the front door!

Al Anon is a place where you too can work the 12 steps so that you too can give your hard earned money to AA and you too can leave your brain at the door. The cult that never gives up taking.

Al Anon is a place where you can be restored to sanity…when you are completely fucking sane, or you were before you started buying all this shit.

Al Anon is a place you can go where you can confess all your contrived wrongdoings to a stranger who is going to tell everyone exactly how fucked up your life is…to make themselves feel better about their fucked up life. (Nice anonymity).

Al Anon is a place you can go to not have to view your ‘qualifiers’ constant attempts to sleep with other women.  Can’t cock block the cock sucker.

And finally, Al Anon is a place where you too can mind-fuck some vulnerable person into staying in a relationship in which they should be protecting themselves from.

Phew, that was fun and cathartic. I would no more set foot in an Al Anon meeting than I would stay one second in an abusive relationship.

Thank you for letting me share.

7 comments on “The Truth About Al-Anon

  1. WOW ! Awesome work Laura!
    YOU NAILED IT !

  2. I went to alanon for my own recovery,It really helped for awhile,,(sincerely)Something changed though,suddenly I was a magnet for addict women there in denial about there being addicts and were convinced they were not the problem.Many of these woman were looked up to,in the alanon political ring,,yes its there,,even though they try to lie about that just like an addict lies about there drugs.These woman are addicted to power,in a place where its the only place they’ll get their fix amongst unsuspecting victims seeking real help for real life problems.They hide their drugs,there greed for power,,there need to suck everything out of people until there’s nothing left to suck except a new guys dick,

    • Unfortunately this is a very common story. At first you feel helped and then they turn on you. Problem is, this is by design. It’s built into the system. You either become as abuser or you suffer abuse. It’s truly a sick and dangerous cult religion.

      Thanks so much for your comments.

  3. I started in the late 80’s early 90’s and met some very helpful people at a very small town meeting(Al-Anon). AA functions were announced at this meeting, and I went to an AA dance. I ended up being the target of a guy who claimed to be 10 years sober. He started talking marriage the first night we met. I was young, and TBH the rhetoric of “not judging others” and being “powerless” made me more vulnerable. Every time I thought the relationship was wrong for me, I told myself I was “judging” him. He ended up being an abuser who I basically had to “escape” from. He had mental illness that I was never told about and I was afraid he would kill me. After that debacle, I continued with Al-anon, because there were one or two nice people there. Once I moved to a larger city, I went to one meeting where a bunch of men announced that there had been a “group conscience” and that a woman at the meeting was no longer welcome there. She had just shared her story, and she seemed normal to me. They told her she talked about her father too much. She left in tears. To this day I wish I had left with her/stood up to them. After that, I had serious doubts. I went to another meeting and after everyone had shared very personal stories, including one woman who said her kid stole her checkbook. I was rudely interrupted and chastised for sharing a “too personal” story. The chair woman screamed at me to get a sponser as my story was too personal. At that point, I had been in for ten years. I was sharing insecurities about my boyfriend, and that he was separated from his wife. I felt attacked and judged by this woman. The facts were that his wife was mentally ill, and there were legal reasons he was not divorced. She was hospitalized at the time. I left that part out because I did not want to gossip about her So, I feel that the woman was just freaking out that I could possibly be a “home wrecker”. I was shocked and saddened by this public shaming, as I was taking care of this guy’s kids while he drank day in and day out, depressed about his wife. I recently went back, and Al-Anon is not for me. I went to a meeting where a big bully was attacking everyone for “cross-talking”. She yelled with such vigor I thought she would jump across the table and attack an 80+woman! Another woman at the meeting took all the money from the basket for change, even though I told her I needed the money for change to buy a book. It was nasty. When I spoke to others after the meeting, one woman told me she was going to have a group conscience. I did research and told her about an article I had found re: cross talking. She ended up finding that same article, and bringing it to the meeting before I could, essentially stealing my work. I had been planning to share it at the vote meeting. She also asked me to attend the group conscience, which I was more than happy to do. She then tells me later that she may not be there. I said, “You wanted the group conscience and now you are not going?” How crazy is that? She also told me over and over again that we needed to be “loving” and she was worried about me being a “brat” to the person who was attacking everyone. At yet another meeting, a man was coming to a woman’s meeting. There was one person who seemed to be “in charge” AKA: another control freak. The man started to attack her, stating non -conference approved literature was rumored to have been there. I defended her, then after the meeting told her that a group conscience could be used to vote him out. (Because he was disruptive, not because he was a man.)She defended the guy and said, no, it could not be done. So this guy is coming to the woman’s meeting every week. Nice people can be banished, but not disruptive bullies? I really believe it is a bunch of sick people going in circles. BTW I am happily married and my life is great now, I was only looking for friends. At my last meeting the women were going on and on about their loser children and one had pawned hers off on the state. She was very proud of herself that she could wash her hands of him. After I spoke I was told to “keep coming back”. Everyone parroting about “at least 3 meetings a week” No matter how many years I racked up, I was always told this.

    • Wow. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment Stacy. In spite of all this sickness, you managed to find a balanced life for yourself. A great accomplishment with all the dysfunction modeled for you! Be proud! Sounds like your personal research into the 12 step cult religion to find friends was full of chaos and abuse. Cannot say I am a bit surprised.

      It’s a dangerous myth that “mentally ill” people are abusive predators. The vast majority of people with a mental health disorder are working too hard on themselves to abuse other people. The vast majority of people with legitimate mental illness are just trying to get through the day without breaking down to use their disorder as an excuse for abhorrent behavior. The vast majority of people with an emotional disorder are too sensitive and vulnerable to make it their life’s work to victimize others. Most of these people do not have the need to billboard their mental issues since they value their privacy. The vast majority of these people are so full of shame and guilt for their past behavior, they isolate themselves from groups. Not steppers! They wear their supposed mental illness like junkie pride.

      Far too often, people give others who claim to be mentally ill a pass for shitty behavioral choices. Most of those who claim to be mentally ill or that their spouse is mentally ill are predators and abusers. Stay away. Stay far away.

      Your stories are far too common in the 12 step cult religion. You’re a decent person and an abusive stepper will find a way to steal from, lie to and about, and cheat you, in order to avoid taking responsibility for their failed lives. This is no place for you or any other decant human being who has a chance to actualize a “happy, joyous, and free” life. You cannot be genuinely human and stand in your power in a group where all they do is disempower people to justify their “mental illness.”

      Thanks again for taking the time to comment. Please share everywhere.

  4. No, thank YOU!

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